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Relationship status: Married
Spouse: Mary
Children: Chris
Voice actor: Arin Hanson

Joseph Christiansen (Cool Youth Minister Dad) is one of the dateable dads in Dream Daddy who works as a youth minister at the church down the street and lives next door. He is the husband of Mary and the father of Chris, Christie, Christian, and Crish.

Joseph also appears in the Dream Daddy Comics published by Oni Press.

Likes / Dislikes[edit | edit source]


  • Baking with the kids
  • Extensive knowledge of knot tying
  • Doing kick-flips


  • Lost salt shakers
  • When dads don't get along
  • When people think Crocs are acceptable boat shoes

DadBook Profile[edit | edit source]

Voted Maple Bay's #1 Youth Minister for five years running. Living in my hometown with my beautiful wife and our four amazing kids. If I'm not in church you can catch me out on the open water, setting sail on the seas of adventure! I love playing guitar and crushing my kids at Candy Land.

On a Friday Night you are most likely to....
Lead the community in a fun mixer

If you had one thing to take with you onto a desert island, what would it be?
My six string

What are your turn-ons?
My loving wife

What did you want to be when you grew up?
Ship captain

What's your favorite movie genre?
Feel-good movies

What's your ideal date?
Lovely night on the town with my wife

What do you never leave home without?
The good book

I spend a lot of time thinking about:
How I can be a better man, husband, father

Conversation options[edit | edit source]

First Date[edit | edit source]

Creepy Twin Schtick[edit | edit source]

  • Egg them on - Like
  • We should get to baking - Neutral
  • Go with something creepy - Neutral
  • Go with something obscure - Like

Spiders![edit | edit source]

  • Spoon duel the Spider King - Neutral
  • Renegade Option - Neutral

Brownies[edit | edit source]

  • Oh yeah! - Like
  • I hope so. - Like
  • Sneak another brownie to ease your fear of public interaction. - Dislike

Brownie Creation[edit | edit source]

  • We used the box recipe! - Like (gets a Love react from Mat)
  • We improvised. - Like
  • It's just how Nonna used to make. - Dislike

Brian's Brownie Bet[edit | edit source]

  • I bet I could eat eleven brownies. - Dislike (Increases Brian's Affection)
  • Just let the man buy his brownies.- Neutral

Selling Brownies to Craig[edit | edit source]

  • Remember that one time... - Love
  • You can't spell “diet” without “die” - Dislike
  • Tempt him - Neutral

The Freak-Show[edit | edit source]

  • They're kinda weird - Neutral
  • They seem nice - Neutral
  • Shove a brownie in your mouth so you can't talk - Dislike

Joseph's Apology[edit | edit source]

  • Are you okay? - Neutral
  • What's her deal? - Dislike
  • Brownies fix everything. - Like

Second Date[edit | edit source]

Fixing the Banner[edit | edit source]

  • JESUS ISN'T CUMING - Dislike

Spinmaster Quinn[edit | edit source]

  • That's not how DJing works. - Love
  • Shut up and play the hits! - Love
  • Play the booty bumpers. It's what Jesus would've wanted. - Like

Spinmaster Quinn's Wife[edit | edit source]

  • Susan - Dislike
  • Sandra - Love
  • Sandy - Dislike

Dancing with Joseph[edit | edit source]

Part One

  • Start with the Lawnmower - Neutral (Best Option)
  • Roll the Dice - Neutral
  • The Worm - Neutral (Scares the Children)

Part Two

  • Shopping Cart - Neutral
  • Sprinkler - Neutral (Best Option)
  • Running Man - Neutral

Part Three

  • Cabbage Patch - Neutral (Best Option)
  • The Windmill - Neutral (Scares the Children)
  • Hammer Slide - Neutral

Part Four

  • Moonwalk - Neutral (Best Option)
  • Butter Churn - Neutral
  • Attempt Twerking - Neutral (Don't...)

Big Finish

  • Attempt an Unrehearsed Backflip - Neutral (Joseph will stop you)
  • Lift Joseph up Dirty-Dancing Style - Dislike
  • Death Drop - Neutral (Best Option)

Margarita Zone[edit | edit source]

  • Watch out for blown out flip flops - Like
  • Let's get tattoos of Mexican cuties - Like
  • It's heaven on earth with an onion slice - Dislike

Third Date[edit | edit source]

Wrestle Neptune[edit | edit source]

  • I didn't bring any talcum powder - Neutral
  • Luckily I brought my Neptuning fork - Like
  • Can do! - Love

Yelling at the Ocean[edit | edit source]


Wine?[edit | edit source]

  • Wine. - Neutral
  • WINE. - Like
  • WINE!! - Love

Pour Wine[edit | edit source]

  • Regular Pour - Like
  • POWER POUR - Love

Revive the Vibe[edit | edit source]

  • This view though... - Neutral (returns to Revive the Vibe)
  • Do you like your mysteries... hot bodied? - Love (Skips Name Your Yacht)
  • I bet we'll have a whale of a time - Like (Skips Name Your Yacht)
  • What's it like owning a yacht? - Neutral (leads to Name Your Yacht)

Name Your Yacht[edit | edit source]

  • The Salty Swallow - Love
  • Long, Hard, and Full of Seamen - Love
  • Fuck You, Whales - Neutral (returns to Revive the Vibe)

Date Responses[edit | edit source]

"Wow, what time is it? That was crazy!"

"Whooo... that's some good grillin'."

"I could just fall into your eyes."

"Yeah, I mean you, you look great... it was fun."

"That was a great date!"

"I have never had that much fun in my life! T-That was awesome!"

Related achievements[edit | edit source]

Icon Name Description
Achievement.jpg Dreamiest Daddy Go on every date with every dad.
Achievement.jpg Margarita Zone Go on all Joseph dates.
Achievement.jpg Escape From Margarita Zone Find Joseph's secret ending.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Joseph's name is a play on biblical figures along with the names of his wife and children. He and his wife have the names Mary and Joseph, who are the parents of the Christian savior, Jesus Christ. All their children have names that have the root, Christ-, who is the child of Mary bestowed by God, along with Joseph as his father. It is quite funny since Joseph is a youth minister.
  • Unlike some of the other dads, you still have a relationship with Joseph in his bad end and you get dumped in his good one.
  • He is revealed to be a cult leader in a non-canon and hidden secret ending.
  • He at one point cheated on his wife with Robert.
  • Joseph is one of three dads that you can die on a date with - in his second date, if you select all the worst options for the dancing segment, and then finish with the backflip attempt, you will land on your head and break your neck. The other two dads are Brian and Craig.
  • Joseph is the only character to somewhat be considered the games "antagonist", however this is only due to the non-canon cult ending.

Gallery[edit | edit source]